I... um... eh, whatever.

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

it’s weird how british people say “lift” instead of “elevator” and how my dad says “you are a dissappointment” instead of “i love you”

achievementt-teeth:

Michael and Lindsay’s wedding Master post

thenotoriousscuttlecliff:

midget-banana:

hijackspace:

thehttydblog:

modern-hiccup:

Me and my sibling can go from

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to

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in like three seconds 

#MY LIFE

on a scale from disney to dreamworks what’s your sibling relationship

MARVEL

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I worry for anyone who says Game of Thrones 

todallison:

this vine is better than all of paranormal activity

hiatus-is-killing-me:

jimmypagesunderagedgirlfriend:

a tEENAGER???… withPOLITCIAL OPINIONS?? no… politics for adults. this not affect you. go sit at kids table

(5 min later) this new generation of teenagers doesn’t care about anything besides parties and the internet

sparrowsandcats:

 also could the world quit telling bisexual people that theyre pansexual okay if a person identifies as bisexual theyre fuckin bisexual, if a person identifies as pansexual then theyre fuckin pansexual youre not the fuckin orientation police 

harmonizingly:

The people who come running to hug you after you haven’t seen them in awhile are my favorite type of people.

ohana-means-famiree:

poshcoughing:

americansavior:

itsjustsatanthings:

cumber-bitches:

caswantsdeansassbutt:

cumber-bitches:

cumber-bitches:

I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.

omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven

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In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy. 

polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.

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this week on: britan thinks its special

This week on america copies everything from Britain.

HOLD THE FUCK UP

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y2kid:

i will do a lot of things but admitting im cold to my mum who told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them

imintodrummers:

99% sure this is what dating luke hemmings is like

Tarot Asks
The Fool: Something you've always wanted to try
The Magician: Something you're very good at
The High Priestess: One thing you wish you knew
The Empress: A woman you really admire
The Emperor: A man you really admire
The Hierophant: Something you believe in
The Lovers: A person who makes you very happy
The Chariot: A prize or award you've won
Strength: Something you struggle with
The Hermit: Favourite way to spend a day alone
The Wheel Of Fortune: Something you wish you could change
Justice: A decision you wish you could do over
The Hanged Man: A time when you wished someone would listen to you
Death: Someone you really miss
Temperance: Your ideal day
The Devil: Who you talk to when you're dealing with big issues
The Tower: Something that changed your life
The Star: Someone you consider perfect
The Moon: Something you fear
The Sun: Your happiest memory
Judgement: Your favourite song(s)
The World: Your dream job
satdeshret:

monobeartheater:

virulenthearts:

robissexyashellism:

Do they mean DOA like dead on arrival?  Because otherwise this is a PSA about how League of Legends can lead to Defense of the Ancients addictions

THATS WHAT I MEAN IM SO CONFUSED
WHY IS A PSA FOR MMORPGERS ON PUBLIC TRANSIT ???

apparently it means dead on the asphalt but that took some serious googling to figure out

Oh, Portland.

satdeshret:

monobeartheater:

virulenthearts:

robissexyashellism:

Do they mean DOA like dead on arrival?  Because otherwise this is a PSA about how League of Legends can lead to Defense of the Ancients addictions

THATS WHAT I MEAN IM SO CONFUSED

WHY IS A PSA FOR MMORPGERS ON PUBLIC TRANSIT ???

apparently it means dead on the asphalt but that took some serious googling to figure out

Oh, Portland.

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

clientsfromhell:

Me: “What browser are you on?”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “Google Chrome?”

Client: “No, just regular Google.”

Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”

Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?

Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”